Chance this way

by Jenny G. Perry

I am often asked, “How can I learn to love myself?” Also, how can I believe in myself, have a better relationship with my body, stop beating myself up all the time, etc. It is all the same really. We do things until we get fed up enough to change them. Or there is a payoff for still doing what we are doing. It’s a hard truth to face, which I had to realize myself, that we have to take responsibility for our lives. This means our happiness, our thinking, our past, our supposed “flaws,” EVERYTHING. If you are willing to own your own life, you are free.

This means that you can kick everyone else out of your head. What anyone else did, said, thought, etc. does NOT matter anymore. If you have to hold onto it, you are not ready to change. The victim story is sometimes really strong in us. It brings us comfort. I can’t love myself because my father/mother/friend/lover/teacher said… WRONG! Nope, not true. It is your belief in what they said that holds you back. Just because they said something, yesterday or twenty years ago doesn’t make it your truth unless you let it. We have an amazing power to let go when we really decide it. It’s like taking out the garbage when you’ve cleaned out the garage. It’s trash, it’s garbage. It serves no purpose and you would not bring it back into your home. It is for the curb now. You don’t feel like it’s your stuff anymore. You have no attachment to it. It’s junk. But yesterday, before you cleaned out the garage, it was your stuff. Sounds too easy?

What if you wrote down the ideas that others had about you that you wanted to let go of? Try it. Look at their ideas of you as THEIRS. It’s not yours anymore. How you feel about yourself changes your whole life. It sets the tone, the vibe, the energy for your whole life. People can see it in your confidence, see it in your smile, and feel it in the air you bring into the room with you. Why should anyone have the power to effect that much of you, except you? This is where we decide what we want to affirm with affirmations. When we say to ourselves that we are stupid, ugly, old, worthless, unlovable, a loser, a failure, a bad______, we affirm it. We can affirm something different. The first one I started with, because I really did not like myself, was “I am worthy.” I decided that was the safest one. I understood the concept of everyone is worthy, as in every soul is made of a Divine spark. I got that. Later on, I added more and took out more bags of garbage from my mind.

I realized acceptance, love, and validation for others would never be enough. It would never be able to compensate for the lack within myself. It feels good when others say nice things about you. But when you do not feel good about yourself, the warm feeling of that fades quickly. The coldness it leaves behind is painful. You are back to the lack feeling, the hole within, the brokenness. You have to decide that when you really want to be in charge of your own life, you cannot give energy to the good and bad that others say or think about you. You want to feel people’s compliments and the good things they think about you, but you cannot be dependent on it for self-worth. Your opinion has to be the loudest in your head. The strongest frequency has to be you or you will be on a constant roller coaster. Make a new reality for yourself by observing your thoughts. When you become aware of your thinking, you can define it, choosing what stays and what goes to the curb. You have the power always. If you don’t think you have the power to change, you’re just not ready. This is okay. Keep questioning yourself. Practice affirmations and see how they feel when you hear them. You will change when you are ready. Try again tomorrow. For those of you who are ready to step into your power, you are now free to change.

jennyperryJenny G. Perry is the author of the novel, “The Jennifers.”  She’s a feisty married mother of four with another baby on the way.  She happily resides at the Jersey Shore and loves to blog on social media about her life’s journey in a fun and spiritual way.  She has a passion for life and a bold voice, which preaches self-love daily.  She loves to give author talks to cheer on her fellow writers and to tell everyone to go after their dreams.  She’s been featured as a blogger on sites like   Calling herself a silly-sassy-spiritual-sexpot, she aims to uplift, empower, and inspire on her Facebook page: Peace Love Joy Sparkles, which has just reached over 30,000 fans.  She can also be found on Twitter: @JennyGPerry  Instagram: JennyliciousPerry.  Her website is:  Her novel is available on    Contact her at:


Life happens – choose 2BePositive™ – and you most certainly are Jennylicious! Thank you for being an inspiration to so many, and for sharing your wonderful words of wisdom and perspective on life.

xo – kerenlynn

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