Steven and I were having lunch one day when he said “If a lesson is not painful in life, do you really learn and grow from it?”

23 years ago Jill (not the real person) who was 12 yrs older than me told me I wasn’t ready for marriage as I hadn’t suffered enough, and my life was too easy. I may not have a good memory, but I remember that clearly because I remember through feelings. Surprise, confusion, sadness, empathy, compassion and understanding all hit me at the same time – for her…not for myself.How do we learn life lessons? How do we grow? What makes an individual change? Why do we stay stuck? Fear is at the core of most of it. Jill, who I didn’t know that well at the time, tried to project her fears onto me. I later learned she was afraid of marriage, commitment, change…and was looking for a reason why my choices were wrong by judging me on my age, upbringing, appearance and positive attitude.Everyone goes through challenges, we all have lessons to learn, and how we react to those lessons indicates whether or not we have actually learned our intended lesson. If you keep reacting the same way; and the same challenges keep happening, do you think you have learned?

Below is a story written by Steven Ryan

I’ve had a long life of negativity. I realize that’s not the start you were expecting when you decided to read the post on how to be positive, but don’t worry, I’m getting there. For so long I tried and tried to fix myself. I thought I was broken. Today I think I’m the happiest I can be. Every day I can smile and every day I can laugh. Being positive isn’t about fixing yourself. No one is broken. It’s about realizing who you are.

A friend of mine once told me she was feeling insecure and I asked her why. She said “I don’t like the way that I look. I want to be called beautiful and not cute, sexy not adorable.” I asked her why she felt that way. She said because I’m not beautiful. So I asked her, “Why not?” She didn’t understand so I clarified my question. “Who actually knows who you are? I know that you know yourself. You know you’re beautiful, you know you’re sexy, so why do you believe you’re not beautiful? In other words, why are you believing what people tell you. Don’t let people who don’t even know you tell you who you are.

So many of us let ourselves believe what others say when they don’t even know who we are. We are the only ones who actually know who we are. I am positive because I realize who I am. I know that I am kind. I know that I am smart. I know that I am beautiful. The truth is, everyone is beautiful. The real question is, why don’t they know it?

How do I feel good about myself? This is a question I hear so many people ask. Here’s what I want you to ask yourself. What are your strengths? What are you good at? If your immediate response is nothing, give yourself a quick shake and continue reading. Everyone is unique. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. To be confident in yourself, you need to know what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are. I am really good at talking to people, but I don’t do so well at saying what I need. No one is perfect. I think that the goal of life is to better oneself. I am positive because I know what I need to work on. I am not ashamed of it; I am not afraid of it. There is no magical answer to your problems. But everyone can change.


Starting right now, be positive. Ready? 1, 2, 3, SMILE! Did you smile? If you did, high five! If you didn’t well, are you ready? 1, 2, 3, GO! How about that time? If you still didn’t, make that your goal for the next hour. But don’t convince yourself you can’t be happy. If you’re someone who didn’t smile or someone who had the biggest smile of all, share your strengths in the comments below. No, it’s not bragging, but tell the world what you can do. Starting right now, stand up straight, hold your head high, and don’t be afraid. Plus, back problems are a pain. Nothing can stop you from being you, except you. So don’t stop yourself. Smile like there’s no tomorrow, laugh more than ever, because honestly, there’s no reason not too. There is always something in your day that can make you happy, you just gotta look for it. Remember that you are strong. Don’t believe anything different.

We all learn life lessons in different ways at different times. Someone could have their “aha” moment at 60 and another at 14 – the age is not what matters and neither is it about the severity of one person’s challenge over another’s,  but rather how you choose to embrace it. You can’t “make” someone change, they have to want it from the inside.My grandmother used to tell me from a young age – your sore thumb is your sore thumb. We don’t know the journey another person has been on, the challenges they have faced, or what’s really going on inside….and they don’t know that about us either. Don’t take these comments personally, be true to yourself, follow your heart and don’t be quick to assume things about other people!

Life happens – choose 2bepositive™

xo -kl

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