At some point during a photo session, I have my client write a word on a stone – “soulstones” – is what I call them. Their word absolutely depends on what has transpired during the photo session. My intention is to guide people to help themselves, to give them permission to view life a little differently, to celebrate the realities of life, break stigmas, and to be a reminder to appreciate and accept who we are and what we have today.

I can’t change anyone. No one has that capability. I will, however, work with you, if you are ready and willing to change yourself. I will be here to hold the door open…it’s up to you to walk through it.

Below is Allegra Cohen’s story on her “Soulstone” Boundaries


Johnny says to Baby, in my all time favorite movie, Dirty Dancing, “Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.”

This was my first lesson in boundaries I can recall. I didn’t know it was called a boundary, but the meaning stayed with me.

Boundries Boundries

Leanne Hare, my hairstylist, (yes that’s really her last name!) had just put a straight haired bob wig on my head. Christy Maurer Mua added more gold lipstick to my lips, and I am dressed like a warrior princess. I can hardly recognize myself when I look in the mirror. Keren hands me a stone, and says, “Don’t think about it, I want you to write down a word, and then we’ll explore your feelings behind that word.” I started writing, I wasn’t sure where I was going with this, but my marker began to move. Like the experience of fitting the wig on my head, I began to “try on” my word. I started out strong, with clear intention. B-O-U – - – I could see I was running out of room on the stone. It was almost like I was giving too much, like I tend to do in my own life sometimes. Like someone was pushing me to the edge. So I compromise with myself, and squeeze in a little more.

The stone itself symbolized the amount of how much I’m willing to give of myself these days– it might not look like so much, but it’s actually a lot. The letters became a map of how I feel when I am pushed to create healthy boundaries. I didn’t want to run out of room, but how much am I going to compromise without being abused or taken advantage of?

Creating boundaries takes courage, self-worth, clarity, strength, and even the ability to peacefully let go of the person or thing that pushed those very boundaries.


I discovered more meaning in my original Dirty Dancing lesson. By completing this exercise in the photo session with Keren, I found compassion and acceptance in the need to teach people how to treat one another, and sometimes that involves setting boundaries. Since the day I wrote on it, the stone sits on my desk, near my Buddah, with a constant reminder of what I strive to be and how I’ve grown.


The blog is a place to connect and share personal experiences, to realize that someone else understands… and that we give and receive by sharing. Experience, understanding, insight, strength, support and healing are necessary to be positive through life’s challenges. I invite you to message me and share your story.

Life happens – choose 2bepositive™

xo -kl

3 thoughts on “Boundaries

  1. Jenny

    This article gave me chills Allegra. And it was just last month that I mentioned the B word for the first time. Thank you for the inspiration! Love you, warrior princess.


  2. Sandy Peckinpah

    Inspired blog. Thank you so much for reminding me that boundaries are imperative to healthy relationships. Sometimes my “need to please” rears up and pushes my boundaries into a corner. That’s when I begin to feel resentment, and I hate living with resentment. Through the years I’ve learned to recognize the “squeeze” and clarify who I am and why boundaries are so important to my well-being. Thank you for writing this blog. I look forward to reading them all!


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